Frozen II sees sisters Anna and Elsa venturing to the Enchanted Forest, upstream from their own kingdom. There, they will discover a land in need of saving and learn some shocking secrets about their own family history.

Astonishingly, the pre-title sequence is really, really rough. Like, first draft rough. (More likely, it’s the result of too many rewrites, but you get the idea.) The film soon picks up, but even at its best, the script needed one more dialogue pass. The writing simply doesn’t pop in the way that Frozen and Moana‘s scripts did.

We get a few new characters, none of which stick in the mind after the credits roll, except one, who exists purely for the purposes of further queerbaiting (seriously, the sooner Disney takes the plunge with regards to Elsa, the better.) There’s subtext to be found – something about the environment, something about addressing our colonial past – but there’s nothing bold or thought-provoking about it.

The animation is 2019-standard, nothing mind-blowing like the water or hair animation in Moana.

Acceptable describes just about everything in Frozen II. It feels like it could have been a Disney+ exclusive, rather than a fully-fledged cinema release. This film had the same $150 million budget that the first did six years ago, which surprised me. Surely the highest-grossing animated film of all time deserved a bigger, bolder sequel?

I’m curious to see what the legions of fans thought of this. A significant proportion of them may have actually ‘grown out’ of the property, which is the risk you run when you take such a long time developing a follow-up.

Whilst I was never blown away by Frozen, I could at least see why it captured the hearts and minds of so many. With Frozen II, there is very little to set it apart from the scores of other 3D animated movies of the past ten years.

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I’m not sure I can even go into this film in any depth – I’m too angry.

The Rise of Skywalker feels like it was specifically made to appease the group of fans who hated The Last Jedi. Like someone ran through the half dozen plot points that frustrated them the most, then set out to retcon them, one by one. It’s truly astonishing how many things achieved by the last film are undone by the return of J.J. Abrams.

Chief among The Last Jedi’s accomplishments was the notion that we have to move on from the past. Rey (Daisy Ridley) wanted to learn from it and take the next step; Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) simply wanted to kill it. “We are what they grow beyond”, Yoda said. Clearly he wasn’t talking about Episode IX, which has no interest in taking up the opportunity presented at the end of Episode VIII, instead content to retread old ground – even more than The Force Awakens. So expect to see old faces, endless callbacks and rehashed scenes from the original trilogy.

I won’t list the major plot points that infuriated me – to do so would be to spoil the film – but suffice to say, it feels like an apology. Which, historically speaking, is strangely fitting, considering Return of the Jedi was an apology for The Empire Strikes Back (which was not universally well-received at the time, despite what revisionists claim) and The Last Crusade was an apology for Temple of Doom. So yet again – it’s something we’ve seen before with George Lucas’ creations.

J.J. Abrams lets loose with a couple of things that annoyed Star Trek fans back in 2009 and 2013 – namely, messing with what can and can’t be done during faster-than-light travel, and giving his characters power over life and death. Sure, the end of The Last Jedi featured an astonishing show of power, but it also came at a cost. In Rise of Skywalker, Kylo and Rey are flinging the Force around like demigods.

What did I like about this film? Well, this won’t take long. The visuals are stunning, the VFX fantastic. There are some cool new worlds to explore. Most significant of all is the fact that the cast are acting their damn pants off. Despite the awkward exposition, plot contrivances and characters doing random 180s, they carry it off with aplomb. The undisputed hero of this trilogy is Adam Driver, who has consistently sold even the most ridiculous writing in all three of the films. But then there are so many characters that given short shrift. Leia, we can understand. But Lando? Luke? Rose? Finn? Wasted. Even new characters like Jannah (Naomie Ackie) serve little purpose.

So this is how it ends. At best, a constrained act of obeisance…and at worst, a whimpering apology. I’m sad to say that this trilogy will have to remain a two-parter on my Blu-ray shelf.

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Like many Stephen King stories from the past 20 years, this feels like a remix of things he’s done before. Specifically, it’s reminiscent of ‘Children of the Corn’, ‘The Stand’ and ‘Desperation’. Twins Becky (Laysla De Oliveira) and Cal (Avery Whitted) are driving cross-country when they stop to assist someone lost inside a field of tall grass. You won’t be surprised to learn that doing so is a bad idea…

I often find it exciting when King reverts to a back-to-basics story. As fantastic as some of his bigger, more complex tales are, sometimes you just want to read something like ‘The Raft’, you know? In the Tall Grass is like that, though it always hints at something else, just seen off-camera. It’s a bit like Lovecraft’s work in that way – there’s something bigger than us in the universe, it’s been here much longer than us, and will be here long after we leave. And it does not care about us.

The setup is intriguing, even if it does rely on the twins making some dumb mistakes. And the moment new characters appear, we as the audience are immediately more suspicious than Becky and Cal. It’s like they’ve never read a Stephen King story before.

Natali does some really interesting stuff with VFX here, as he has done all throughout his career. The budget is decent enough, but I never forgot that we were almost always in a studio, especially when there was obvious sky replacement going on…

I was never bored, but the film could have ended at any time after the 45 minute mark. There are dozens of mini-climaxes that felt like endings, and when the actual ending arrived, my only response was “ehh, good enough. That makes sense.” There’s no narrative urgency, no real oomph. The film successfully shifts gears from first to second act…and then plateaus.

In the Tall Grass is a competent film, well made. But that’s about it. The only highlights are Natali’s visual flair and Patrick Wilson, who is making a habit of hitting it out of the park even when the film around him is rather silly (see also Aquaman).

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Surprisingly, this newest version isn’t actually a reboot – it acknowledges that which came before, all under the premise that there are now many, many Angels and Bosworths all over the world. (You know, that thing Ghost Corps was going to do until…well, we know what happened there.)

Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott and Ella Balinska play lead roles this time around, and they’re having a great time. Their performances spark off each other, and all three have oodles of charisma to spread around. The worst that can be said is that they clearly get along well – even when the film suggests they shouldn’t. The bickering is too friendly in the early stages, which takes away from the inevitable mutual respect that we all know will surface by the time the credits role.

Bosworth is played by Elizabeth Banks, who’s a triple threat here, having also written and directed the film. And the writing is interesting. Some have criticised the film for being stuck in turn-of-the-millennium girl power, but to me that feels unfair. The film is clearly feminist, the difference here being the inclusion of an incredible list of micro-aggressions that women have to face in their everyday lives. But at the same time, we’ve got a trio of women who are, of course, stunning in the most traditional of ways. For obvious reasons, I am not the right person to be suggesting how a 2019 Charlie’s Angels should approach feminism, but it’s clear that the concessions made mean the themes don’t land as well as they could.

The action is fun – and I mean really fun. The editing is a mixture of great and rotten, and there are some dodgy gravity-defying moments that make no sense, but the film has such a brisk pace that this isn’t a problem. Comparing the action to the likes of Mission: Impossible – Fallout, is simply unfair, because, well, nothing can compete with that film. At first I wondered if a gritty approach may have been more successful (considering we’re in a post-Bourne world where Daniel Craig’s Bond still struggles to find the fun), but then Kingsman did all right as a silly action-comedy five years ago.

So put this down as one of those pleasant surprises. If the responses online have put you off, consider giving Charlie’s Angels a go. It’s fast-paced, fun entertainment with some great action sequences. And if you need another reason, Kristen Stewart is hilarious as Sabrina, getting some of the funniest lines in the film.

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The original film is a curious beast. Supposedly beloved by many, I’ve yet to find anyone who genuinely enjoys Jim Henson’s film as an adult. Even as a child, I found it a slow, plodding affair that failed to excite any emotions. The puppetry was the only thing worth writing home about. Henson’s next film, Labyrinth, was an improvement in every single way.

So I’m damning Age of Resistance with faint praise when I say that it’s a marked improvement on the original film. A prequel, it shows the world of Thra under the benevolent dictatorship of the Skeksis. The various tribes of Gelflings pay tribute to their overlords, variously in a state of denial or blissful ignorance as to fact that they are being taken advantage of. Everything changes when one of the Skeksis discovers they have the ability to use the Dark Crystal to siphon life force from the Gelflings, and extend his own life. Meanwhile, a mysterious force known as the Darkening (seriously) is taking over Thra…

With an expansive cast of characters, Age of Resistance sees the individual story threads spread across Thra, then intersecting more and more frequently until it all comes together at the end. If you’re fascinated by fantasy world-building, then this show has it in spades. The different landscapes, flora and fauna, various tribes and races – there’s a lot to take in, and I don’t remember the last time I watched a TV show that paid this much attention to the setting.

I should make clear that Age of Resistance has wonderful production values. The score is bold and uplifting, even if the main theme sounds distractingly reminiscent of Tears for Fears’ ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’. The physical sets are incredible, and the costuming is stunning. When it comes to the puppets themselves, however, I’m on the fence. I’m not a huge fan of rubbery-looking puppets, so the Gelflings themselves are unimpressive. Then there’s the fact that the puppeteers aren’t providing the actual voices. Now, I mightn’t have noticed this if Brose Avard (head honcho of the Chatflix podcast) hadn’t mentioned it, but as with the original film, the voices are replaced by other actors’, which means that the physical ‘performances’ aren’t as impressive as they could be. Put simply, ‘Sesame Street’ puts on a better puppet show.

The voice cast is…overwhelming. Taron Egerton, Anya Taylor-Joy, Jason Isaacs, Simon Pegg, Benedict Wong, Mark Hamill, Keegan-Michael Key, Awkwafina, Eddie Izzard, Helena Bonham Carter, Lena Headey…I have to stop, because the list goes on. It’s basically a who’s who of actors from fantasy and sci-fi productions of the last 20 years. Also, could we take a moment to note that Simon Pegg has appeared in reboots of Star Trek, Star Wars, Tintin, The Chronicles of Narnia, ‘Doctor Who’ and now this? Are there any iconic geek properties from his childhood left for him to take part in?

Age of Resistance is a love letter to the original, but thankfully much more entertaining. I wasn’t exactly enthralled, and was regularly conscious of scenes or plot points that only served to pad out the episodes, but perhaps that’s because I’m aware that this is yet another example of a proposed film being changed to a TV series by Netflix (see also ‘Stranger Things’ Season 1). The potential for more big budget puppetry on streaming networks does get me excited, however. I’m glad that the art can still get the big budget treatment in 2019.

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Season 2 of GLOW ended with the Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling taking up a permanent gig in a Las Vegas casino. This means that they’re doing the same show, over and over, every single night. Everyone feels like they’re stagnating, and for this reason, the writers of the show have decided to almost completely ignore the wrestling element altogether.

We don’t even see any proper wrestling until episode five. Instead, this season is determined to focus on some characters who’ve never been under the microscope. Gayle Rankin gets to finally flex her acting muscles as Sheila. Previously one-note (the woman who thinks she’s a wolf), this is the first time I feel like I understand who she is. It’s a similar story with Melanie (Jackie Tohn) and Jenny (Ellen Wong), who get possibly the most affecting scene of the entire season, as the writers examine the people behind the gimmicks. Carmen (Britney Young) and Arthie’s (Sunita Mani) relationship gets put through the wringer as well.

In some ways, it’s more of the same for our lead trio of Ruth (Alison Brie), Debbie (Betty Gilpin) and Sam (Marc Maron). Since their falling out is arguably the crux of Glow, we know that Ruth and Debbie can never become true friends until the final episode (or maybe never), so the dramatic gymnastics here are no surprise. And similarly with Sam – it’ll always be one step forward, one step back for the guy, because otherwise we’ll lose that which makes him so entrancing.

In fact, there are only really two characters left who haven’t had their time in the spotlight, and that’s Dawn (Rebekka Johnson) and Stacey (Kimmy Gatewood) – the two women who have been unfortunate enough to also be stuck with the least interesting gimmick. Oh, and Reggie (Marianna Palka), who continues to get so little to do that I didn’t even remember her name.

But in case you hadn’t realised by now, GLOW’s secret weapon is Bash Howard. Chris Lowell, always destined to be runner-up in the ‘Veronica Mars‘ boyfriend game, is shockingly good in the role. Bash has more money than sense, yet his struggles with his domineering mother and his closeted sexuality mean that his childish naïveté is matched only by the tragedy that is his life. Poor little rich boy or not, the guy has issues.

And so, like Dear White People Season 3, we have a show that’s moved away from its own premise. If you’ve only been watching because of the wrestling element, then you’re going to be disappointed. If, however, you’ve formed an attachment to the characters like I have, then you’ll be happy to continue watching a show that’s now more about being an actor/woman/gay person/ethnic minority in 80s America than it is about wrestling.

As I understand it, GLOW used up the vast majority of the true story elements back in Season 1, perhaps because the creators didn’t believe it was going to run for this long. As one of the few well-publicised shows out there to feature a majority female cast, however, there are enough unique stories here to hold my attention.

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Never fear – the biting social commentary and incendiary dialogue is still present and accounted for, but as Season 3 opens, it seems the students of Winchester are having trouble staying angry. Samantha (Logan Browning) isn’t helming the titular student radio show or turning up to black caucus, and is instead focussing on her filmmaking work. Reggie (Marque Richardson) is also too distracted byhis studies to attend caucus. Lionel (DeRon Horton) is learning about and forging his new identity rather than honing his investigative journalism skills, and even Coco (Ashley Blaine Featherson) has been distracted from her political aspirations because of her own personal fears and regrets. The situation is best exemplified by Al’s (Jemar Michael) attempts to get his fellow students to sign a petition in episode 1. Everyone’s too busy or, many cases, simply exhausted by the outrage of the week.

If the show is a microcosm of the life of many an activist, perhaps this represents the characters in middle age with their own kids and mortgage, too busy with work to march in the streets to fight for the rights of others.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still razor-sharp observations to be had – the best of which is a jab at ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ and its particular brand of white feminism; the most audacious of which is a self-referential criticism of third-season Netflix shows – but in many ways DWP is a shadow of its former self. To counter the disappointment, the characters are as interesting as ever, so although the season veers towards becoming a soapie, it’s still intelligent and fiercely intersectional.

I do wonder if this season was in the original planned outline for the show. The resolution to the shocking cliff-hanger from last season is dealt with in a perfunctory manner, and a couple of sub-plots are put on hold with the suggestion that the fourth, and final, season will pick them up next year.

As always, the show looks stunning. The cinematography is great, and the costuming and lighting has to be amongst the best currently on TV.

I wouldn’t say that Dear White People is running on fumes now, rather that it’s strange to see a more relaxed season. Gone is the urgency, the passion and the rage. Instead, we delve further into the personal lives of the characters. The self-referential jabs suggest this is all part of the plan, but I’d be lying if I said this season was just as compelling as the first two.

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The show’s format has morphed several times over the years. Season 4 is basically a 7-hour movie: a completely serialised eight-episode story. Here’s the biggest difference, however: where the film was unashamedly fan-servicey, season 4 is about giving the audience what they need, not what they want.

I think people who only ever dipped their toe in the show missed out just how broken Veronica (Kristen Bell) is. That was always my favourite part of the show: the darkness hiding behind her bubbly persona. And it’s just as well, because this season really dives into that aspect of her personality. Here is someone who was raped, and her best friend killed, all before her 17th birthday. She’s been clenching her fists ever since, and it’s definitely taking its toll. Like all noir protagonists, Veronica continues to be the instrument of her own demise – don’t expect that to change anytime soon.

The most enjoyable part of this season? Watching Veronica and her dad work together as equals. She may have gained her PI licence towards the end of s3, but this is the first time we really see them working side by side as co-workers, spit balling ideas and challenging each other’s theories. The most surprising part of this season? Seeing a different, more mature Logan (Jason Dohring) who, miraculously, doesn’t feel neutered. I never thought a post-therapy Logan would be an effective character, but Rob Thomas, Diane Ruggiero-Wright and others have shown me just how good they are at writing characters that truly evolve.

There are a lot of returning faces, but unlike the movie, it never feels like overload – people show up in places that make sense. Poor old Wallace (Percy Daggs III) is again only peripherally relevant, and my one wish is that he gets a more prominent role if we get another season. The guy’s been on the sidelines since s3.

The mystery concerns a bombing in Neptune during spring break. As usual, the story is full of twists and turns, and the list of suspects is long. J.K. Simmons, Patton Oswald and Clifton Collins Jnr are the big-name additions to the cast, and both are predictably excellent. Mido Hamada plays a congressman embroiled in the mystery, and his character is the only misstep. Throughout the season, his actions make little sense, and his motivations flip-flop depending on the needs of the script.

My only other complaint is far from integral. Visually speaking, this looks nothing like the first three seasons or the film. This show always had a California-noir thing going on, with lots of exaggerated colours – neon lights, stained glass windows – that served to exaggerate the shadows lurking in the corners of Neptune. This season, however, offers nothing but flat and bland lighting. It’s weird considering TV these days is just as stylish as feature films – if anything, the visuals are less impressive than the previous incarnations.

There’s been a subtle shift here too. As you’d expect, Veronica and Logan’s relationship is different to the early years. The writing is less soap and more kitchen sink (at least in the first half of the season) and there are a several arguments between them that play out quite realistically. As someone who seems to have come through the other side of trauma, Logan is the only one who really understands how broken Veronica is, and like I said before, her flaws have never been focussed on this much before.

As a character study, this season offers some of the best writing the show has ever seen. The central mystery won’t have the watercooler edge that s1 did, but the drama will definitely remembered by fans for years to come. If you’re someone who lost interest some time in s3 or perhaps when the movie came out, I can assure you that this is a much more confident run of episodes. We fans are in an incredibly lucky position – we love the show as much as the central cast do, and Kristen Bell has said time and again that she’s prepared to return to this character for as long as she’s on this earth. Not only that, but creator Rob Thomas has shown he’s adaptable to whatever format is going (serialised network TV, case-of-the-week TV, feature film, books and now streaming TV). Long may Veronica continue.

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Whilst I’ve only mentioned She-Ra in passing here on hoopla.nu, it’s a show of such high quality that it consistently surprises me. With Noelle Stevenson behind the wheel, it was always going to be good (seriously, ‘Lumberjanes’ is one of the best kids comics I’ve ever read), but this show excels on every level.

First off, the character designs are great updates of the originals. Whenever we’re introduced to someone new, it’s fun to Google the old toys to see how much they’ve changed whilst still retaining the spirit of the original. The background art is also reminiscent of late 70s/early 80s sci-fi and fantasy. Overall it’s got a Moebius-meets-80s-Miyazaki vibe.

The script is equally impressive. Snappy and hilarious, the dialogue ensures the pacing never drags. Even better, all of the villains actually have depth. It’s invariably a case of “doing the wrong thing for the right reasons”, which ensures that, whilst it’s a cartoon, the antagonists are never purely cartoonish. And central to the drama is of course the relationship between Adora and Catra – one of the most interesting examples of friends-turned-rivals-turned-enemies that I’ve ever seen in children’s programming.

Season 3’s arc is epic, even if it only comprises six episodes. The mythos gets expanded in a big way, and we learn more and more about Etherea and Adora’s place in the world.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is effortlessly inclusive whilst also, at its core, being about your traditional good-versus-evil struggles. The emotional complexities put most of the 80s cartoons I watched growing up to shame. I can only hope that, like She-Ra, Kevin Smith’s recently-announced ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’ reboot also manages to be as good as I remember the original series being, and not as lame as it actually was. (Seriously, if there’s one show that should remain in your memories, it’s He-Man; don’t be tempted to try and relive the glory days by rewatching it, folks.)

From a show purely designed to sell toys to a complex, hilarious and inclusive cartoon, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power continues to go from strength to strength. I’d just prefer if they released each actual season in its entirely, rather than splitting them up.

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The first thing that strikes you about The Clear Card is how little has changed. It’s incredible just how much this feels like 90s CCS. The character designs have been updated ever-so-slightly, but this is definitely a show designed to appeal to people who grew up watching the original. The background art is where the biggest difference can be seen, with some beautiful 3D work and contemporary lighting techniques. Madhouse animation studio has created the perfect visual update.

The story is a reboot of sorts. There are more cards for Sakura to tame, a new mystery to unravel. Like the original series, however, it’s not the kind of show that’s in a hurry to advance the ongoing plot. The day-to-day struggles of life in junior high are the focus, as Sakura and Syaoran get – gasp – serious (or at least as serious as junior high relationships can be). This would be my main criticism – the story isn’t moving fast enough. There’s also a strangely obsessive focus on food. I don’t remember the characters being quite so food-oriented in the original show, but it’s on full display here. Be prepared to watch everyone cooking, looking at, anticipating, eating and then finally reminiscing about food.

The one thing I’m glad they ditched is Sakura’s continued surprise that the source of any one episode’s chaos is a card. The number of times she expressed shock when someone said, “Hey, maybe this is the result of a Clow card?” was mind-boggling.

At this point in the show, 11 episodes in, I have no idea if 2019 Cardcaptor can be more transparent in presenting the non-heteronormative relationships portrayed in the manga. Toya and Yukito seem to know where the other one is and what they’re doing at any one time – as if they were a couple – yet the show never actually says as much. I suspect that, in the interests of maintaining canon with the original anime, they will continue to simply insinuate, rather than be as up front as the manga was.

It’s – ahem – clear that The Clear Card isn’t simply made for grown-up fans of the original show. This is still a kids’ show, and as such don’t expect any complex stories or challenging plot twists. As an exercise in updating a dormant story without reinventing it, however, The Clear Card is excellent.

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