In my humble opinion, the novel ‘Breaking Dawn’ itself was an exercise in futility, since author Stephanie Meyer failed to deliver on every single instance of conflict she created. Time and again, each major insurmountable obstacle that Bella and co. faced was instantly resolved with very little tension. I was curious to see how on Earth this would make for a thrilling movie experience.

The good news is that most of the offensive stuff (women putting up with violent men, women getting punished for having sex, yada yada yada) was taken care of in Part 1. Now that Bella Swan is a vampire, you’d think she’d finally get to have some fun. And she does, to a certain extent. The opening sequence of Part 2 features her coming to terms with her newfound powers, and it’s easy to see what’s so thrilling about being a member of the sparkly undead. From that point, however, the film slows down considerably. Whilst Bella’s coming to terms with her vampiric nature, she also has to deal with the fact that her daughter, Renesmee, not only has the worst name in the history of bad names, but the Volturi aren’t happy about her existence.

This means we get more of Michael Sheen, which is always a good thing. However, for some reason that’s never really explained, it takes the Volturi a really long time to travel from Italy to Forks, even if the Cullens have been zipping all over the globe in the meantime, trying to rally support. When we finally get to the climax (something completely missing from the book), it turns out that the filmmakers have something special for us indeed. If I could buy a Blu-ray of just the 25 minutes or so of action at the end of the film, I would, because it’s thrilling and exciting and emotional and a whole lot of other words that can’t really be applied to the rest of the franchise.

I’ve already praised Michael Sheen, but I should also mention Billy Burke, who has managed, against the odds, to be brilliant throughout all of the Twilight films. Our central three stars – Stewart, Pattinson and Lautner – still fail to impress, whilst the extraordinarily large supporting cast of multicultural vampires only get a handful of lines each, having to rely mostly on their costuming to get across any depth of character.

It’s always surprised me just how crappy the visual effects have been in the Twilight Saga considering the fact that the films make millions of dollars. Whilst Breaking Dawn Part 2 is probably the best looking of the series, there are still some awful effects on display. The high speed runs through the forest look just as silly as they did in the first film, whilst the CGI baby Renesmee is woefully unrealistic and thoroughly creepy.

I can appreciate that fans of Harry Potter and Twilight may like the recent trend of splitting up the final novel of a series into two films, because it means that the story really has time to breathe. Then again, a brilliant script is a brilliant script, so there’s no reason why you can’t squeeze an entire novel into two hours and produce a film that’s just as emotionally charged as the books supposedly are.

At the end of the day, it’s only really fans that will be watching Breaking Dawn Part 2, and I can’t see how they could have any problems with the adaptation. It’s like the book, only slightly better. For everyone else, it’s yet another case of reasonably pretty people standing around, awkwardly delivering lines that are nowhere near as profound as they’d like to think they are.

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Actually, it isn’t dark enough. The film constantly feels as if it’s been trimmed of the bloodier and the sexier moments, perhaps to avoid an MA rating (or R in the US). It felt like I should have been watching something akin to Snow White: A Tale of Terror (that blood-spattered TV movie retelling with Sigourney Weaver) than this – a washed out fantasy film with Twi-aspirations.

These aspirations can be rather embarrassing to watch, especially when you see the male love interest, Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) has been made up to look exactly like Robert Pattinson. It’s impossible not to laugh when you see his carefully quaffed hair slathered in product – not something you’d really associate with a medieval setting. In fact, it feels like the Powers That Be have poked and prodded at this production until the film becomes increasingly like that oh so popular romance franchise.

It’s a pity, because Red Riding Hood certainly shows potential. A retelling with an obvious feminist bent, there’s some sort of psychosexual undercurrent here – about male fear of female sexuality – even if it never comes to the fore. The setup’s a lot like The Village – a group of villagers live in fear, isolated in the snowy mountains somewhere. Each month, during the full moon, they put out a sacrifice for the werewolf which lives in the forest nearby (’cause all these men are afraid of that mysterious thing that happens once a month, you see.) Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) has been in love with Peter the woodcutter since she was a child, but is to be married to the much richer Henry (Max Irons). When Valerie’s sister is killed by the wolf (under a blood moon, no less), it sets in motion a series of events that will lead to the villagers turning on one another.

The story is a tad predictable, but for all its silliness, I soon acclimatised. The sets are lovely and old fashioned, and whilst they’re not aiming for realism, I did get a real feeling for the location. Amanda Seyfried really sells the role, too – her slow rise to stardom has been impressive over the years. Here, she’s blessed with the presence of Julie Christie and Gary Oldman, who both positively command the scenes in which they appear. Fernandez is pretty hopeless as Peter, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say it was because he was forced to be more Edward Cullen-like every step of the way.

The soundtrack is a winner – both the score by Alex Heffes and Brian Reitzell, and appearances by the likes of Fever Ray – but the cinema in which I viewed the film couldn’t handle the bass end of the audio spectrum at all. Since it was a brand new theatre I’m going to assume that the fault lies with the soundtrack and not the cinema.

Red Riding Hood feels like it’s been re-edited time and again. There are abrupt changes of pace and strangely timed montages that hint at deleted scenes. All in all, it feels like this would have been a stronger film, but it was toned down and reshaped in a misguided attempt to make it more mainstream. I did enjoy Hardwicke’s film, but this was only by overlooking the larger flaws and searching for the much more satisfying feminist/Freudian subtextual dichotomies within.

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Rest assured that Eclipse continues the franchise’s horrendous record of setting feminism back several decades. Bella Swan has no ambition whatsoever, and is only interested in being with the man/men she loves. She’s fragile and passive, and frequently needs protection from Big Strong Men. Edward, ever the gentleman, once more believes that keeping her innocent and in the dark when it comes to Serious Men’s Business is the best thing for her (you’d almost expect Mike Brady to pop up and suggest she take a Valium or two), and can’t wait to own her in the legal sense. More importantly, Bella is so incapable of taking care of herself that she can’t even manage to DRESS APPROPRIATELY WHEN GOING CAMPING ON A SNOW-TOPPED MOUNTAIN.

In its defence, Eclipse does suggest that young women have libidos, which is a nice change from what we usually see in teen films, where the guys are forever craving sex and gals simply put up with it to please them. The men in the Twilight franchise seem more intent on fighting over ownership of their female territory rather than jumping into girls’ pants.

David Slade is at the helm this time around, and I cannot think of a director whose output has been more disappointing since such a perfect debut feature. Of course, Hard Candy is a hard act to follow, but did he have to make 30 Days of Night and then this? In any event, at least you can rest assured that Eclipse looks stunning – Slade has a fantastic cinematic eye. This is easily the best-looking of the franchise thus far, which has definitely become a lot glossier since the overwhelmingly under-budgeted first film. The special effects are quite decent, and this time around, they’ve come up with quite a nifty way of dispatching vampires (I imagine the studio was keen to let Slade work his magic without quite the gore of 30 Days of Night, thus ensuring that the film keep its M rating).

As we have come to expect, the soundtrack to Eclipse is great. Even the most outspoken of detractors can’t deny that the franchise continues to pump out solid albums. Howard Shore’s score is really good also, though at times it sounds a bit like the recurring theme we’ve been hearing in this year’s ‘Doctor Who’.

The performances are more of the same. Robert Pattinson continues to look constipated, though I’m told that this is what a vampire in love looks like. Taylor Lautner is constantly shirtless, though at least this means that the guys in Hollywood get a turn at being nothing more than eye candy, rather than the girls (impressively, Bella is constantly dressed down – I don’t think we ever see her in anything but jeans and a plaid shirt and/or hoodie).

Eclipse delivers exactly what we’ve come to expect, which I imagine is what the studio and the fans want. It doesn’t take any risks, nor does it stray far from the source material. This kind of safe filmmaking is never going to be brilliant, but makes for adequate entertainment.

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The Wolfman is a decent film. It stops short of great but it’s entertaining nonetheless. This is supposed to herald the return of the Universal pantheon of monsters – if this does well, expect a glut of them featuring Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, the mummy and God knows what else. Now that the diarrhoea of Van Helsing has been forgotten, I’m kinda excited to see a whole new breed of the classic monsters.

The Wolfman presents us with some great writing. Andrew Kevin Walker (of Se7en fame) and David Self have teamed up to regale us with a tale so thoroughly Freudian that you’ll ponder a little bit too much about that dream you had about cleaning out your mother’s vase with a feather duster when your father came in and frightened you so much that you dropped it. It’s all there – sons falling in love with mothers, sons hating their fathers, sons terrified by their own puberty and a great spin on the Freud’s wolf boy case. I honestly can’t remember a film that revelled in Freudian theory quite this much.

The acting is great for the most part. Anthony Hopkins proves once again that he is simply incapable of a poor performance. It doesn’t matter what rubbish he may be spouting, you can be sure that Hopkins will make it sound good. (He was the only thing worthwhile in Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and thankfully The Wolfman is a much better film than Coppola’s bizarre waste of money.) Hugo Weaving stars as Inspector Abberline (in an unexpected real life crossover with the Jack the Ripper case – you may remember Johnny Depp playing him in From Hell) and is in top form. The scenes with either of these two actors are instantly elevated above the rather dull B-grade feeling that pervades the rest of the film.

But then we come to the single worst part of The Wolfman – Benicio Del Toro. Now, I admit I’ve never been a great fan of his, always considering him to be wildly overrated, but here he is well and truly dull. He shambles through each scene, mumbling whilst staring straight ahead with those dead eyes of his. I can understand that the studio execs got excited when they were first pitched the idea – he’s a huge, hairy man after all – but he’s simply not up to the task. We’re supposed to care for Lawrence Talbot, who has returned to England after his brother’s sudden and mysterious death (read: he was chewed and dismembered) but it’s simply not possible. It’s hard to believe that Lawrence apparently had a successful stage career in America, because he fails to inject any energy into his scenes. Trying to believe that Anthony Hopkins is his father is quite impossible, also – Hopkins gives his all but Del Toro doesn’t give anything in return. Trying to feel for the love story between Lawrence and Gwen (Emily Blunt) is just as difficult also.

The effects are good enough, and it was a surprise to see that the creature actually did look like he’d come straight out of the black and white horror films of old, though I’m still confused as to why werewolves have to growl like lions or tigers instead of barking. They get to howl, sure, but both this and New Moon seemed to sampling big cats most of the time.

The Wolfman is bit like Daybreakers, really. They both contain enough points of interest to keep the genres’ fanatics entertained but fall short of the great films they could have been.

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Catherine Hardwicke’s direction was one of the few things that saved Twilight. She managed to get earnest performances out of her young leads, not to mention making the über-chaste ‘erotic’ moments electric in their own way. Unfortunately Chris Weitz doesn’t achieve quite so much in the sequel. The narrative struggles through some of the inanities of the source novel, even if the humorous scenes manage to succeed.

Kristen Stewart is still far and away the strongest performer of the franchise. She makes me almost care about Bella in a way that the books never could. Sure, Stewart’s furrowed brows and trademark grumpiness may be getting a little tired now, but she’s clearly the best actress that could have been cast in the role. As most will know, vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) spends very little time in this film, using a feeble excuse about leaving her alone so she can lead a normal life. As a result, Bella is left in the overcast town of Forks with Jacob (Taylor Lautner), the buff and brash equivalent of Edward’s moody (read: whiny) detachment. Blessed, as I was, with the knowledge that the Powers That Be threatened to strip Lautner from the role unless he pack on 13 kilograms, it’s a little disturbing to see how he’s changed (and feels a teensy bit like child abuse, really). Bella’s actions, like much of the franchise, seem inherently selfish in New Moon, whilst the dumbstruck boys continue to orbit around her. Perhaps most disappointing is the fact that the climax is a bit of a fizzle, even if Michael Sheen lights up the screen with his portrayal of head vamp, Aro.

Whilst the direction may be less accomplished, the film at least has a decent budget this time around. Where Twilight was filled with awful special effects, New Moon manages at least to get by with some nifty action sequences. Actually, the film has a couple of top moments, assisted by great cinematography, perfect editing and a great soundtrack – it’s a slicker flick for sure. No one could deny that the first instalment had a great soundtrack, and this one is even better.

New Moon sticks close to the source material (to its detriment, naturally) and as such should keep fans of the books happy. It’s entertaining in a mindless way, though a step down from Twilight. The third film, Eclipse, will no doubt appear hot on its heels, and I suppose one should be grateful that the series thus far has proven to be reasonably entertaining, given that the whole franchise feels like such a rush job.

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