Underworld

I was so excited about this movie. I mean, you couldn’t go wrong with a gothic action extravaganza about vampires fighting werewolves, could you?
Yes you can, and they did.
This movie is shit.
The opening scene was crap and it got worse from there on.

First rule about action movies: there has to be action. There was soooo much talking and so little fighting. This on its own wouldn’t be so bad if what they were talking about was remotely interesting. It isn’t.

Any time there was an action scene it simply involved people firing off round after round of bullets (and missing). Hello? The majority of the cast has supernatural powers! WHY DON’T THEY USE THEM?!

I spent most of the time in this film switching between two emotions. Firstly boredom: because nothing ever happens, people simply walk around delivering wooden dialogue about uninteresting topics. And secondly: confusion, because whenever there was an action scene it was dark and everyone was wearing black. I couldn’t tell who I was watching, or which side they were on.

This film is saved from a rating of zero simply because of the costuming and set design. It looked great, it’s just such a pity that nothing else worked.

Apparently there are two sequels in the works, which is astounding. (Did somebody actually like this film?) The good thing about this is that there is absolutely no way that a sequel could be any worse.